From Day 1

The room was filled with horrible bright light, beeps were continually going off, babies were crying and people were coming and going all over the place. My husband wasn’t allowed to stay with us - It felt a million miles away from how I envisioned spending the first night with our newborn baby.

I found the visitors room which was empty overnight - dark, quiet - and decided to have some calm time in there together. I played relaxing music, and ended up holding him all night long. I was exhausted but wasn’t going to be sleeping. I couldn’t believe he was finally in my arms, we both adjusted to feeding quickly and naturally and I felt so grateful. It felt surreal watching the car park empty and then refill as the sun came up. I didn’t sleep a wink. The nurses were concerned at all this, and wrote it in my notes like something to flag, but it felt much better for us both. Calmer, quieter, and just us.

I learnt instantly that when it came to my baby I had a louder voice and stronger mind than I’d ever known before, and I’d follow what felt right over what was expected - and soon realised this would be the case every time - in every scenario. Still to this day, and for both of our children.